"HOW DO I REACH THESE KIDS?"

PATIENCE, PATIENCE AND MORE PATIENCE!

What does it take to work with children, specifically aged four through eight? PATIENCE, PATIENCE AND MORE PATIENCE!  I cannot stress the ‘skill and attribute’; patience enough. 

The majority of the skating students I am responsible for are aged five and six.  Children aged four to six are filled with emotional extremes, contradictions and the “I’m a big kid phase” is around the corner, providing the child with a sense of independence, leading them to want to accomplish tasks for themselves.  This creates a sense of pride within the child to prove they are capable, just like mom and dad.  

Children in this developmental stage are able to display a better sense of self control and can absorb information for a longer period of time than their previous years, of the toddler phase.  However, they’re also prone to temper-tantrums due to still learning how to regulate their emotions and to be quite honest, I’m pretty sure most of us know a few people our in our generation trying to still acquire the skill of emotional regulation and self control.  So referring back to a child’s state of emotional stability, it's a challenging time for them, to say the least.  

After speaking to some of our classmates, there are a few of us who are in placement with youth and have all had similar statements on having to need large amounts of patience and some even confiding, it's not an easy task to stay cool and collective in a professional manner.  Youth like to challenge authority and some have difficulty with staying engaged for various environmental issues that are surrounding them on a daily basis.  It’s our jobs to provide support, knowledge and the skill to help guide them in the right direction of the task at hand, mine being having them focus on skating and building skills on the ice.  

Tips and Strategies to Work With Children and Keep Your Calm While Holding The Authority

1) THE CHILD’S BEHAVIOUR AFFECTS THE OTHERS AROUND THEM

While a child or youth is acting out, its important to explain how their behaviour effects the others participating and surrounding them.  Explain how the child is not just taking time away from you, but its unfair to everyone else in the group that they are missing out on fun because of him/or her acting out.  Be authoritative but not threatening while relaying this message.  If one child is constantly interrupting, use words they can understand of the consequences that will take action if the task isn’t completed in the time given.  

2) SET BEHAVIOURAL EXPECTATIONS AND STICK TO THEM!

Children crave structure and routine.  Its important to identify this in all the children that you work with and then plan ahead on how to set the program up from the beginning, and expectations of whats going to be done, no excuses.  This way the child is aware of the schedule and can subconsciously start preparing themselves for it.  Its important this be kept in a routine for them so its instilled for every lesson or placement that you are working with them.  

3) NO ONE IS PERFECT,  ACCEPTANCE IS KEY

Accept that children will not always be able to follow the rules and guidelines that are laid out for them.  No one is perfect, and theres always going to be days where things go wrong.  Its important to let go of the need to control a situation all the time.  

4) PRACTICE MAKES DAMN NEAR PERFECT 

Allow the children opportunities to practice self-control and patience, you can use games or age appropriate strategies to do this as well.   In skating, I set up circuits for the children to follow on the ice independently, putting the more skilled students in the front, allowing the others to follow creating a need to keep up with them.  Training emotional attributes is like training any muscle of the body, it needs stimulus and reputation for it to become habit.   

5) HAVE A CALM DOWN ROUTINE 

Having an unnoticeable calm down routine for yourself while dealing with confrontational situations is a skill to take throughout your life.  It can be as simple as reciting verses from a favourite author, a song you like, etc.  Another effective tool used by many is counting backwards.  Mini distractions while being able to still engage with the surrounding environment but enough to diffuse the frustration building internally to talk it out, or deal with the confrontation accordingly.  

Thanks for reading, 

Christina 

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